Verse 26: Grasping

Verse 26 will mark the completion of the first year of publishing Samkhya verses here on the website. I am using this as an excuse to try something else in this journal entry.

As I was preparing verse 26 for publishing, I engaged with drawing and painting verse 32. I started (as I always do) by reviewing my summary of the verse and found a loose end that was not clear to me. This happens sometimes. There are loose-ends in my comprehension which I left open, hoping (and trusting) that they would sort themselves out over time. I went back to the sources and after some time, some clarity found me and I felt ease arising.

But the energy of stuckness (Tamas!) persisted and manifested again when I sat down to author a generative drawing sequence. I felt mechanistic and uninspired. When this happens I don’t fight it. I either step away to do something (to give the process space and time) or surrender into the stuckness. This time I surrendered into it. I just held my head and stared at the screen (for writing) and paper (for doodling) before me.

Out of nowhere, a song came into my mind and I observed my attention drift into it. I decided to listen to it, to a live version, to fill the room with it and immerse myself inside it. It touched something inside me. The lyrics met me in a new way, in a different context. They sent me back to a specific place and time. A place of pain, power, relationship, surrender, rest, and heaviness. An ending that did not, at the time, appear to lead to a new beginning.

That song led to another, a more recent song by the same artist. This one has touched me deeply every time I’ve listened to it for the past couple of years … and it did so this time too … to tears, as it usually does:

Connected and touched I turned back to the screen and paper. A clear generative sequence appeared. Shapes started forming on the paper and immediately started to transform and unfold, asking to be changed, evolved and grown. The opposite of stuckness. When the drawing or painting take on a life of their own I feel relieved. The tension of a feeling that I need to figure out what to do was replaced by a light feeling that something was happening through me.

As I write and edit this journal entry I realize that in the present moment verse 32 is more alive in me than verse 26. So I looked back into verse 26 and noticed something I hadn’t noticed before about the relationship between the two verses. Verse 32 speaks directly to the contemplation on “grasping” I stumbled into in verse 26. And so, coming back to the present, I find my reflection on “what is grasping?” transforming into “what does the grasping and what is grasped?”

1 thought on “Verse 26: Grasping”

Leave a Reply